JESUS CHRIST THIS IS HARD!
I think that Anya is really clever, but she isn't fully aware of her true potential and she always tries to embrace something to feel complete: was it vengeance or Xander. I also think that, despite how sexually liberated she is, she's kinda the traditionalist. I mean, she does have an old mind and old way to see things something, once the equation vengeance=justice (Like in all the ancient cultures)

I don't know if my opinions on the matter are actually unpopular. I don't read much about the theorization in the fandom. I think that Mycroft and Sherlock loved each other, I think that Sherlock really admired his big brother when he was little - otherwise he wouldn't be so annoying with him - and I guess that at some point they're relationship cracked and, being both all emotional constipated, they couldn't work it out.

OMG and that's really tricky, because I don't think that my opinions on him are unpopular - in the Spuffy/Spike loving side of the fandom, at least. And also I love him so madly that I want to go all KJCKSFNJKANDAJBD when it comes to Spike.
Okay. Let's try.
I think that the Seeing Red scene was very IC from his point of view. I don't think he was trying to hurt Buffy on his mind, but he didn't really know the difference between love and violence and for him it was all the same, so the attempted rape is really all about his ignorance in functional relationships and love. He did think that torturing Dru was a romantic gesture.
I don't blame him because soulless vamp and because nobody really told him that difference: Darla, Dru and Angelus are totally disfuncional, abusive people. So it's like a boy from an abusive family; he doesn't really know how it works without violence.